Dear Jess, 

I’ve been in a punk rock phase recently. I’ve been blasting a 90’s and 00’s punk rock Spotify playlist any chance I get to drive around without the kids. It was during a kid-free errand run when a Relient K song stopped me in my tracks and made me tear up. Besides the beautiful melody, the lyrics really resonated with me:

I look on up to the sky
I wonder why I put a filter between beauty and my eyes
I look on up into your eyes
It’s time I put down my devices and I start to live my life
I look on up, I look on up to the sky

You see, I know all the research shows that having your phone out while you’re with the kiddos makes them feel unimportant. I realize that checking social media 20x a day is not healthy and doesn’t add any value to my life. I understand that I have more important things to do (even if that thing is something dreadful like folding laundry). But none of that stops me from glancing at my phone every time I walk past it or spending an extra 10 minutes scrolling through my news feed after answering an email. 

It’s a habit I desperately want to break. I want to be “present, not perfect” for my kiddos.  While for other people, it may be a simple solution of quitting cold turkey, for me, the majority of my work (blog writing and website building) revolves around electronics and social media, so it is much harder to get my phone use under control. The oxytocin boost I get from every “like” and “comment” makes me keep going back to my phone to check new notifications. While I know new “likes” cannot help me do anything substantial in the real world (wouldn’t it be great if we could exchange “likes” for things like desserts?) , I can’t stop opening an app every time I see that orange notification icon. 

Throughout the years, I’ve tried several detox methods with varying severity levels. Depending on what is happening in my life, I may need more or less help unplugging. Here are some easy to set up, practical ways I’ve limited my social media use throughout the years: