It’s been a few days since the news broke of the mass shooting in Atlanta. I had friends that reached out to see how I was handling the news and all I could say was that I was still “processing”. The thoughts that have been running through my head about this tragedy are so closely intertwined with everything that I have been thinking about in terms of my identity over the past year. On the surface…

I am livid. 

I’m angry that a white supremacist decided that the solution to his personal problem was to use the fetishization of Asians as a symbol of his temptation. To those that say race was not a motivator, I call bullshit. If he was trying to eliminate the temptation, then why would he only target Asian businesses that are miles apart? I’m sure there were at least a few sex toy shops along the way, but he didn’t stop there.  He specifically targeted Asian-run businesses because he sees Asian women as a threat and a problem. 

I’m angry that the Cherokee County police relayed the murderer’s claim that it was not racially motivated as fact, instead of making a determination based on his actions. 

I’m angry that the Hyun Jung Grant’s (one of the victims) sons have to grow up without any parents and that her eldest son has to figure out how to provide for his little brother.

I’m angry that Delaina Ashley Yaun’s (one of the victims) children, one who is only 8 months old, will grow up without their mom. 

I’m angry that the media hasn’t learned from past shootings and still focuses more on humanizing the shooter and his life than the victims. I’m also angry that at the beginning of the pandemic, the media used photos of Asians in face masks in articles that had nothing to do with the news story about COVID-19. It further perpetuated the myth that COVID was a Asian disease. 

I’m angry at the comments I see where the victims of the shootings are reduced to debates about whether or not they were sex workers and if they are deserving of our attention. (Hint to the correct answer: they are humans first and your fabricated outrage is irrelevant.)

I’m angry that a year ago, I was telling people that using terms like “Chinese Virus”, “China Virus”, and “Kung Flu” would have repercussions on my family, friends, and community– yet, my fear was minimized and questioned. 

Okay, that title may be a little misleading– This isn’t really a “How To” guide because there is no perfect way to teach every single kid anything. If there was, I would be a millionaire by now.  This article is more of a general guideline based on my experiences as an Asian-American than a step-by-step tutorial. I wanted to share my insights based on a few conversations I had these past few weeks with the rise of Asian hate crimes due to COVID and the more recent news about Seuss Enterprises no longer printing six books that included themes of “orientalism”.

What is Anti-Racism? 

Let’s first get on the same page about what I’m talking about when I say “Anti-Racism”. The official definition is: 

a belief or practice that recognizes pervasive racism in society, and actively combats racial prejudice and discrimination in order to promote racial justice and equality:
Most people are proud if they are not racist, but antiracism establishes a higher bar—what are you doing to dismantle racism? (from Dictionary.com)

Even in today’s divisive climate, I believe that the majority of us are not racist. We want society to treat everyone equally. The difference between not being racist and being anti-racist is the effort we put in to change the way we think about that future. Is that future something that we will hopefully, eventually get to? Or is that future something that we actively have to try to pursue? 

If you choose the former, then the first way to be actively engaged is to challenge your existing perceptions and widen your exposure to other cultures. 

Disclaimer: In this post, I’m going to be talking about being anti-racist in regards to Asians– East Asians specifically. I don’t have any experience other than being Chinese-American, so I can’t speak for the experiences of South Asians, Pacific Islanders, or any other minority group. The overarching theme of being anti-racist can be applied to any minority group though and I encourage everyone learn how to be an ally and donate/support POC organizations, businesses, and creatives.  Just because there is a rise in Asian hate crimes currently doesn’t diminish another minority group’s struggle.  

A Tale of Two Teaching Moments

It was late at night, the kids were finally in bed and my husband and I were about to put on the latest episode of WandaVision. My phone buzzes and I see that I got a DM from a childhood friend that I hadn’t talked to in a long time. Intrigued, I opened it and read: 

Hi! I hope you and your family are doing well! I was watching a show and they were using chop sticks. [My daughter] asked me what they were and how to use them. I had a pair from sushi and I showed her. She thought it was so cool. Thank you to you and your family for teaching me how to use chop sticks at such a young age. What a cool thing you taught me, that I never realized until now 🙂 

Fast forward a few days later after Seuss Enterprises made their announcement. A friend was wondering why society keeps erasing history instead of using it as a teaching moment. She sent me this message: 

I wanted to share with you a story from one time reading To Think I Saw It On Mulberry Street with [my daughter]. We were reading and came to the page where there is a boy with chopsticks. When I read this to [my daughter] she stated: “Hey that boy has chopsticks just like we do! You eat with them sometimes mommy!”

We then had a small very informative lesson about Chinese food and culture that I am very thankful for knowing about. I explained to her some of the foods and very interesting traditions I learned about from you and through knowing your family. I used the moment she picked up on the imagery to share some culture with her so she could appreciate it. 

First, how amazing is it to think about all the small impacts we have on each other throughout our lives? It was a great reminder to me to always try to impact someone else’s life in a positive way.

In Michigan, schools have been shut down for the next three weeks (plus one more week for our Spring Break). I don’t know about you, but 4 weeks of home schooling with limited activities outside the house is a little overwhelming. 

Yesterday was our first day at home and it was a little chaotic because I didn’t have any routine in mind besides saying “yes” or “no” to my 5-year-old’s requests. Today is a new day and I have a new system in place that I thought I’d share. 

It’s a schedule that’s not set in stone by any means, but gives me an idea of what kinds of activities I can plan for so boredom doesn’t set in. 

You can download my sample Daily Schedule here. 

You can customize it so it fits your family’s routine. I used this sample schedule as a starting off point. 

I laminated it with the “Notes” section pretty much blank. Then I laminated the schedule and used a dry erase marker to fill in activities that fit into each subject. 

Disclaimer: do not feel like you *have* to have a schedule in order to succeed or feel like you have to follow this to a T. Here are some ideas to help you shake up your daily schedule. 

Bonus: Head on over to our Maternity Fraternity Facebook page for multiple threads of different activities sorted by subjects. This will help get your creativity juices flowing in these next few weeks. And please feel free to add your own resource links or ideas to the threads as well! 

Dear Jess,

UPDATE 6/6/2019: We discovered the album “Leo Does Children’s Metal Songs”, and it’s been on repeat at our house. FINALLY, a version of Baby Shark that doesn’t make me cringe! We also love dancing to the part of “If You’re Happy and You Know It” where Leo tells us to bang our head 🤘 I’ve added our favorite songs from the album to our Metal Songs for Kids Spotify playlist below!

—

I don’t know about you, but with the continuous news coverage about the flu outbreak and a new baby, I’m pretty selective about when we venture into the world. The days when I feel like I’m about to go bonkers if Calvin asks me “Why?!” one more time, we start a dance party and usually both of our moods take a 180 degree turn.

Sure, Uptown Funk for the 100th time in a row is great and all, but I wanted to find some songs more attune to the music I listened to back when my husband and I met in high school. Eric and I knew we were going to hit it off when I asked him what System of a Down song I should feature on my Myspace (…setting up your song was a big deal okay?! Don’t judge). Fast forward, 13 years later and we’ve been to countless rock festivals and concerts together.  So the hunt to expose Calvin to a bit of our world in a non-scary, non-angry way was a fun challenge this week.

Dear Jess, 

Growing up, the best thing (and sadly, one of the only things) about Chinese New Year I remember was getting lai see or red envelopes every year. Lai see is filled with money and given to friends and family as a symbol of good luck. 

Okay, I lied. I remember the food too. There was so much and it’s always so good– it’s hard to forget! If there’s one thing you can guarantee, it’s that you don’t leave without feeling like you’re in a food coma after a Chinese New Year dinner. 

Since I only remember the food and money part of the most important holiday in my culture, I felt a tiny bit guilty about not being able to pass down that knowledge to my kids. I knew there was a ton of folklore and symbolism surrounding this holiday, but I couldn’t recite any of it with any conviction. 

So a few years ago, I started collecting books by Chinese authors. A lot of them dealt with Chinese New Years or the legends surrounding them. Stories like how the Chinese zodiac animals were chosen, the Nian monster, and the meaning behind the many symbols and customs.  I wanted to share my favorite eight books with you, since 8 is the luckiest number in Chinese culture: