Dear Jess, 

An elf must’ve bit me this year, because I have the Christmas bug and it only turned December today. Maybe it’s because my toddler is at the age where he’s legitimately excited for the season, but I’ve watched Christmas movies two days in a row already. I’ve also contemplated putting up the tree the day after Thanksgiving (the only reason I didn’t is that I have to find a way to baby proof the area). 

This is pretty unusual behavior for me. Not saying I’m the Grinch around the holidays, but I’ve never had the motivation to go all out until this year. 

One of the things I wanted to do this year is establish some sort of daily tradition and excitement. Lots of families do Elf on the Shelf but I don’t think I have the creative stamina for 25 days! Advent calendar was what I decided I wanted to do, but I wanted my toddler to not just be excited for candy every day– that was Halloween’s job. I wanted him to experience the joy of Christmas Spirit. The happiness in receiving and giving, through community service and kindness (to others and to ourselves). 

Dear Jess, 

I loved your post about the Teal Pumpkin Project. I had never heard of putting out a teal pumpkin before to symbolize being an allergy-free house during trick-or-treat. I’m so glad you made me aware. If you’re feeling exhausted a few states away, I’m sure there are parents in my neighborhood who are feeling the same way. 

So this week, I hauled my crabby toddler and baby to the craft store and bought a carve-able pumpkin and teal paint. In the check out line, I was chatting to the woman behind me about the coupons available, when she noticed my purchases. 

Dear Jess, 

A year ago, while I was in my third trimester, I had an idea. A Halloween costume idea to be specific. My eldest was a dragon for his first Halloween and I knew I was most likely going to reuse it for the baby in my belly. We have a giant direwolf-sized husky for a furbaby. My brother-in-law has an all white husky too. Ding! Lightbulb goes off, and I knew I was going to be making a Jon Snow costume for my 3 year old. 

I loved how it turned out and wanted to share my process with any other Game of Thrones fans out there. 

The Materials

The main parts of the costume I knew I needed to create a believable mini Jon Snow was:

Black fur cloak

• 1.5 yards of black felt – $4
• 1/3 yard of black “grizzly” fuax fur – $5
• Magnetic purse buckle – $7
• Black thread and needle

Longclaw the sword

• Plastic sword from the dollar store -$1
• National Geographic arctic fox Happy Meal plush
• Black felt
• Pattern for the sword holster
• Hot glue gun

House Stark symbol

• Body armor from dollar store – $1
• Silver marker – $6
• Black construction paper
• Spray glue adhesive
• House Stark stencil 

Dear Jess, 

Ever since we started this blog, we’ve been posting about self-care, self-love, self-compassion, whatever you want to call it. I just wanted to take a moment to explain why taking time for ourselves as moms so important in my eyes. 

My Run in with Post Postpartum Depression

I had my first son in 2014. We were stationed in Fort Stewart when I gave birth. I had just found out I was pregnant when the movers came and we were whisked away to Georgia. By the time we were settled in, I had started to feel the effects of what would be a miserable pregnancy. Let’s just say I was not a fan of the nausea, PUPPS, sciatica, and hauling around a very large baby for my small 5’0″ frame. 

How I feel about pregnancy

When he was born, I was so grateful that my parents came down for almost a month to help me get back on my feet. Even with warnings from friends and research I did, nothing prepared me for the recovery period of a C-section. It never clicked to me that while I would have trouble getting out of bed for a few weeks, I would also be taking care of this tiny human that completely relied on me to survive. Chalk it up to mommy brain, denial, or just plain lapse of judgement– having a baby completely blindsided me. 

Dear Jess, 

I’ve been in a punk rock phase recently. I’ve been blasting a 90’s and 00’s punk rock Spotify playlist any chance I get to drive around without the kids. It was during a kid-free errand run when a Relient K song stopped me in my tracks and made me tear up. Besides the beautiful melody, the lyrics really resonated with me:

I look on up to the sky
I wonder why I put a filter between beauty and my eyes
I look on up into your eyes
It’s time I put down my devices and I start to live my life
I look on up, I look on up to the sky

You see, I know all the research shows that having your phone out while you’re with the kiddos makes them feel unimportant. I realize that checking social media 20x a day is not healthy and doesn’t add any value to my life. I understand that I have more important things to do (even if that thing is something dreadful like folding laundry). But none of that stops me from glancing at my phone every time I walk past it or spending an extra 10 minutes scrolling through my news feed after answering an email. 

It’s a habit I desperately want to break. I want to be “present, not perfect” for my kiddos.  While for other people, it may be a simple solution of quitting cold turkey, for me, the majority of my work (blog writing and website building) revolves around electronics and social media, so it is much harder to get my phone use under control. The oxytocin boost I get from every “like” and “comment” makes me keep going back to my phone to check new notifications. While I know new “likes” cannot help me do anything substantial in the real world (wouldn’t it be great if we could exchange “likes” for things like desserts?) , I can’t stop opening an app every time I see that orange notification icon. 

Throughout the years, I’ve tried several detox methods with varying severity levels. Depending on what is happening in my life, I may need more or less help unplugging. Here are some easy to set up, practical ways I’ve limited my social media use throughout the years: