Dear Tracy,

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

It’s been a year since I came to you with a crazy idea: Create a Community of Mothers. 

From there, you came up with an amazing name, did so much design work, and absolutely blossomed as a writer. I’m so amazed by you and so grateful to call you my cohort on this grand adventure of building our community! 

Last year…

We created this blog.

Began a Facebook page for our community to post questions, ideas, and share our ups and downs. 

Started an Instagram (And have just about 700 followers!)

Dear Jess, 

An elf must’ve bit me this year, because I have the Christmas bug and it only turned December today. Maybe it’s because my toddler is at the age where he’s legitimately excited for the season, but I’ve watched Christmas movies two days in a row already. I’ve also contemplated putting up the tree the day after Thanksgiving (the only reason I didn’t is that I have to find a way to baby proof the area). 

This is pretty unusual behavior for me. Not saying I’m the Grinch around the holidays, but I’ve never had the motivation to go all out until this year. 

One of the things I wanted to do this year is establish some sort of daily tradition and excitement. Lots of families do Elf on the Shelf but I don’t think I have the creative stamina for 25 days! Advent calendar was what I decided I wanted to do, but I wanted my toddler to not just be excited for candy every day– that was Halloween’s job. I wanted him to experience the joy of Christmas Spirit. The happiness in receiving and giving, through community service and kindness (to others and to ourselves). 

Dear Jess, 

I loved your post about the Teal Pumpkin Project. I had never heard of putting out a teal pumpkin before to symbolize being an allergy-free house during trick-or-treat. I’m so glad you made me aware. If you’re feeling exhausted a few states away, I’m sure there are parents in my neighborhood who are feeling the same way. 

So this week, I hauled my crabby toddler and baby to the craft store and bought a carve-able pumpkin and teal paint. In the check out line, I was chatting to the woman behind me about the coupons available, when she noticed my purchases. 

Dear Tracy,

Tonight while tidying up the kitchen as my kid asked for dinner (finally) at 8 pm, I was struck by this thought: I should have asked if she was okay. 

Let me back up…

Monday, I was talking to a mom and relaying a story about a friend’s travels and how I’m a bit envious and gosh wouldn’t it be nice to get away by myself for a week or two to a remote location. And overheard by another mother, she proceeded (with some palpable disdain) to comment on how she gave up her chance to live that life for her husband and children. She said, “I gave up a life, FOR YOU…?!?” and at the moment I felt awkward.

I felt we all make sacrifices, but aren’t they worth it? It’s a different path in life, but it’s worth it when your kid runs up to you and gives you a kiss whispering how happy they are you came back to pick them up from school before running off to play on the playground for just one more minute (or hour in his case).

And instead of responding, I just let her vent with minimal interaction on my part. 

And this was a mistake. 

Dear Tracy,

This isn’t something that moms “should” say, but being a food allergy mom…is exhausting. 

When we’re out in public we have to be on high alert for well meaning people who pass out free samples in the grocery store. We have to be vigilant against other mothers in our childs’ classes who bring snacks or cupcakes or treats to class. We have to always check the labels of everything even if we’ve purchased it dozens of times before because corporations like to cut corners and make a buck swapping out ingredients. We have to be the shield between our child and a family member who doesn’t treat this as a life and death situation…or call you dramatic for getting angry over crumbly falling apart peanut butter trail bars brought into your home. (An actual thing that has actually happened in my home.) 

I feel you mommas. I feel you HARD. 

And that level of hyper vigilance cannot be maintained without consequences; namely…exhaustion.

And Halloween Candy?! 

It’s our worst nightmare, isn’t it? Strangers passing out Reese Cups into our kid’s bucket potentially cross contaminating anything in that previously peanut free treat collection? I’m about to have an anxiety attack just thinking about it. (No seriously, I have anxiety, I’m about to hyperventilate here people.)