Dear Tracy,
Tonight while tidying up the kitchen as my kid asked for dinner (finally) at 8 pm, I was struck by this thought: I should have asked if she was okay.
Let me back up…
Monday, I was talking to a mom and relaying a story about a friend’s travels and how I’m a bit envious and gosh wouldn’t it be nice to get away by myself for a week or two to a remote location. And overheard by another mother, she proceeded (with some palpable disdain) to comment on how she gave up her chance to live that life for her husband and children. She said, “I gave up a life, FOR YOU…?!?” and at the moment I felt awkward.
I felt we all make sacrifices, but aren’t they worth it? It’s a different path in life, but it’s worth it when your kid runs up to you and gives you a kiss whispering how happy they are you came back to pick them up from school before running off to play on the playground for just one more minute (or hour in his case).
And instead of responding, I just let her vent with minimal interaction on my part.
And this was a mistake.
I should have looked her in the eyes and spoke to her soul, asking “Are you okay?”
Love is at the root of everything – all learning, all parenting, all relationships. Love or the lack of it. -Mister Rogers
And I should have asked if she was okay. Not in a cursory manner, but as one soul to another. As one loving being to another.
The greatest thing that we can do is to help somebody know that they’re loved and capable of loving. -Mister Rogers
So, if you’re reading this, I’m asking you now.
Are you okay?
And its all right if that answer is no.
It’s okay to say that something inside feels broken, that you’re hurting from a lack of love, or that it’s been a hard week/month/year.
We’re here and we’re in this together.
Though we may be on parallel paths, know that you are seen and heard and loved. I promise.
Reach out to us and we’ll be happy to remind you anytime you forget.
Love,
Jess
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